THE RIGHT PERSON

How will someone know if he already found the right person?

Before a relationship ends to a perfect marriage, lots of hardships will be experienced first. These are trials that you and your partner should overcome because a relationship is a cycle. At first, there should be love. A woman that is in love always hope for her beau to call, desires for his touch, and like every idiosyncrasies of the man. All these only mean that falling in love with a man wasn’t that hard, it comes natural and spontaneous. It’s called “falling” in love ‘coz it is happening...

Falling in love is really easy. It can be a passive or impulsive experience. But of course, the ecstasy of love will soon fade while being with this same person you have fallen in love with, be it in a marriage or a long-and-serious relationship. This is natural. Slowly, the phone calls become a bother; the touch is no longer passionate; and the idiosyncrasies of the person you once fell in love with, will drive you nuts. These signs vary in every stage of a relationship. But if the partners consider what they have shared for years, then there is greater difference from the first stage of the relationship and during the dull moments in the subsequent stage. So here comes the famous question, “Did I choose the right person?”

As both of you reflect on the condition of the love you once had, you may find yourself yearning for such experience with someone else. When the relationship fails, people tend to blame their partner for their misery and just look to the other side of the relationship only for fulfillment. Infidelity becomes so obvious. But there are also some who prefer being involved with other forms of abusive substances like work, hobbies, friendship, and a lot more. The answer to this dilemma actually does not lie outside the relationship, for it lies within it.

I can’t say that you should not fall for someone else though. Indeed, you can still fall in love with someone. But because this can only make you feel better temporarily, expect that you will also be in the same situation a few years later because THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN A RELATIONSHIP IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT IS LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND. Sustaining the love is not an inert or spontaneous experience. It will never happen to anyone. Each of us cannot find a LASTING love since every one needs to make it every minute of the day. And that is where the “Labor of Love” begins. It takes time, energy, effort, and WISDOM to make the love lasts. Each is responsible for discerning WHAT TO DO to make the relationship work. You must not do something that will ruin the love, for LOVE IS NOT A MYSTERY. Lots of things can be done with or without your partner just to make this relationship succeed. Same as the physical laws of the universe, a relationship also provides a certain law that will make it stronger. And once this law is applied, its direct cause and effect becomes predictable, from which a LOVE that is built will lasts a life time. So choosing the person you want to spend the rest of your life is your “decision”… not just a feeling. And you must make this decision always right.