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Ten tips to overcome communication conflict in a relationship

• Learn to express your feelings your feelings and frustrations honestly, but without accusing or attacking the other person.

• Choose words, expression, and a tone of voice that are kind and gentle. Do not use speech that could easily offend or spark an argument.

• Do not exaggerate, distort, or stretch the truth. Avoid extreme words like never and always.

• Give actual and specific examples. If necessary, make notes before you communicate. Stay away from generalities.

• Commit yourself to seeking solutions instead of airing your grievances. Getting even is not the goal – you want to get things resolved.

• Listen to what the other person is saying, feeling, and needing. Try to detect his or her underlying concerns.

• Refuse to indulge bitterness, anger, withdrawal, or argument. Though these emotions are normal, indulging them is sin.

• Do not hesitate to acknowledge your own failure, and be quick to forgive the other person. Make sure you do not hold a grudge.

• Keep talking and asking questions until you are sure that you both understand clearly with the other saying and feeling. Encourage each other as you press toward a solution.

• Train your mouth and heart until you can say the right thing at the right time and the right way for the right reasons.