- Learn to express your feelings your feelings and frustrations honestly, but without accusing or attacking the other person.
- Choose words, expression, and a tone of voice that are kind and gentle. Do not use speech that could easily offend or spark an argument.
- Do not exaggerate, distort, or stretch the truth. Avoid extreme words like never and always.
- Give actual and specific examples. If necessary, make notes before you communicate. Stay away from generalities.
- Commit yourself to seeking solutions instead of airing your grievances. Getting even is not the goal – you want to get things resolved.
- Listen to what the other person is saying, feeling, and needing. Try to detect his or her underlying concerns.
- Refuse to indulge bitterness, anger, withdrawal, or argument. Though these emotions are normal, indulging them is sin.
- Do not hesitate to acknowledge your own failure, and be quick to forgive the other person. Make sure you do not hold a grudge.
- Keep talking and asking questions until you are sure that you both understand clearly with the other saying and feeling. Encourage each other as you press toward a solution.
- Train your mouth and heart until you can say the right thing at the right time and the right way for the right reasons.
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